Your IQ (intelligence Quotient) is fixed when you are born, whereas your EQ (emotional Intelligence) is gain over a lifetime and can be taught, increased and developed. There is decades of research showing again and again that EQ is positively correlated with life success. Conversely, IQ is not associated with life success. Life success, we are talking about having a great job, getting along with co-workers, healthy secure adult relationships and getting along with kids, to name just a few.
We focus on academic success for your children at school. Yes, knowing how to read, write, do math, understand science and so on, it also vital and extremely important. No one is underestimating that. We are though underestimating the great importance of learning relationship skills. To my alarm and heartache, during a working with men conference last week, it was shared that girls embody their gender norm of being silent, especially around men at around the age of 14yr (statistically). Boys, learn through traumatic events (traumatic includes things such as being shamed for liking pink, crying, “being girly” [Whatever that means!}, being told to toughen up when in pain and not consoled, communication more rough, mean and violent etc., not just physical violence) to embody their masculine gender norm at age 4 (statistically). As a Feminist or should I say ‘Genderist’, EQ is so extremely important for everyone to be WHOLE, for happier fulfilling lives and for all that comes with life success. It wouldn’t be a huge leap to feel that with more EQ in the world, we would have less DV, less hatred, less violence across the board, more inclusion and more acceptance.
So how do you, as parents bring more EQ into your worlds at home, here are some easy steps:
As with life, this loop will go around and around. Conscious Parenting, Attachment Parenting, Parenting based on scientific interpersonal neurobiology research, is about the long game, it takes longer and has more positives come out of it. Punitive Parenting, Punishment Parenting, Authoritarian Parenting, might be quicker, as you’ll see instant conformity but most likely not long lasting change with a bucket load of negatives.
Give yourself and your kids more connection and life success. Bring more EQ into your world today.
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