I'm sorry to have you here, it means your relationship isn't what you dreamed, want and deserve, and you're looking for couples counselling. If you're experiencing tension, withdrawal, stonewalling, fights, affairs, thinking or down the road of separating. I'm here to support you and give solutions and skills to creating the type of relationship that is cherishing, respectful, loving and something your friends will admire and wish they had.
About me: I work with families and couples because I want to support each individual to have a healthy sense of self (esteem and boundaries), to support each person feel important and significant within the relationship, be that within the marriage or family or both.
Ok, warning I'm going to use the F word...I am a feminist, which to me, entails being pro-female and pro-male. A gender-equalist if you prefer. I want each individual to get their needs meet. I want each individual to feel whole and complete. I want each individual to be heard, understood, respected, cherished and loved.
All of these things are skill based, love is a verb after all.
I am an advocate for 'Relationship Empowerment', which comes from revolutionary approach to couples therapy by Terrence Real, designed around bringing couples back from deaths door.
When working with couples, I take sides, I won't sit on the fence and purely ask you about your feelings. I will be practical, logical, and skill-based. I help you over-come accumulated anger and resentment to rediscover the reasons you fell in love in the beginning.
You should come and see me if any of the following apply to you, as I have a solution for you: - Do you wish for less fighting? - Are you fearing the relationship is on the brink of separation/divorce? - Is the passion between you missing, lacking or non-existent? - Are you or does your partner use controlling behaviours? - Has the relationship experienced trauma, ie relocation, loss of work or illness, birth of a child/ren? - Are you dishing out or receiving constant criticism? - In the midst or recovering from an affair (physical or emotional)? - Are you worried about the person you've picked for life, wasting your time, going nowhere?
Part of my love of working with couples is the involvement of men in therapy. My two boys have made me become aware of the limitations of feminism for men (and women). Feminism hasn't gone near far enough for equality for women, nor for men. Im ambitious to support men gain a greater sense of who they can be, how successful they can be within relationships, friendships and work. This is scientifically proven to help not just with men's mental and emotional health but also physical health, life longevity and equality for both genders.
What does this mean for when you work with me: I will give you skills for talking with your partner, getting your needs met, practices around healthy respectful disagreements, skills around getting intimacy and passion back into your lives, and how to end the fights, anger and resentment. I, with care and compassion, will pull you into line if you are using controlling behaviours, uncontrolled verbal licenses or withdrawal, likewise though if your partner is being an abusive belittling withdrawn so and so I will tell them, empathetically of course.
The model I'm trained in works, the relationship you bring to me, wont be the one you leave with.
Sessions are intensive 1 to 3hours to avoid the excruciating pain of loss and divorce. Let's get our hands dirty and into the mud of whats holding your relationship back from feeling sooo much better. The intensive 2-3hrs or retreats give you the luxury of discovering what really is happening within your relationship in the shortest time possible, then we talk skills and tools to stop making the mistakes so you leave feeling so much better.